Relationships are complex. Whether you’re healing from a past one, anxious about being in one, or worried you’ll never get into one. Trust me, I get it. When you’re single, figuring out how to put yourself out there isn’t easy. Plus, you may be in unintentional “situationships”, breakups, receive mixed messages, and so much more. Perhaps, you’re worried that you will be stuck in a cycle or relationship forever. Or you get uncomfortable in any relationship and need help processing through trauma. In fact, in relationships, you feel like you’re walking on eggshells and cannot be yourself.
Additionally, you may be a young adult. This means you’re expecting to get into relationships, establish yourself, have kids, and get married. This may leave you feeling behind the curve and wondering if any of this is for you.
Often therapy is for couples and married individuals. Yet, we often forget about people who are working on themselves and figuring out where they fit in the dating/relationship world. My goal as a relationship therapist for singles is to help women navigate this arena. Whether you have decided to get back into the dating world, are newly single, or happen to be navigating a “situationship”. You don’t have to go through this alone, there is a place for you in therapy too.
Right now, you may be justifying subpar treatment by saying “but we’re not together so I can’t get mad”. You may be afraid to hold your partner accountable due to fear of losing them. This may lead you to suppress your own needs and wants in the relationship. Which can affect your self-esteem, self-worth, and ability to voice what you truly want.
Furthermore, you have all the benefits of a relationship, but none of the rewards. So, you can’t introduce them to family, friends, go on vacation, celebrate anniversaries or claim them publicly. What is the point of a relationship if you can’t show them off?
You may be afraid to express your desires to take your relationship “to the next level”. This may be due to fear of losing your partner. However, you know you’re not happy with where the relationship currently is and know it needs to change.
Due to current or previous relationships, you may be carrying resentment towards your partner. This may have gotten to the point that it turns into depression or anxiety. Or, you were in a toxic environment, and it harmed your hope of having a happy, sustainable, and loving relationship.
You’re just not getting your needs met in your relationship and you’re wondering if it is you or them. Often you consider beginning a new relationship, but when something goes wrong or there is miscommunication, anxiety can set in. This may leave you feeling trapped or considering if you have made a mistake. Furthermore, the cycle just keeps repeating itself. Which can leave you feeling hopeless that relationships can change for you.
Relationships are not always straightforward. There is no manual to getting it right. You may be experiencing shame for needing guidance. Or you believe you should be able to figure this out yourself. Perhaps, you feel ashamed that you didn’t leave the situation sooner, and now you’re mad at yourself. Or you’re worried about me judging you and labeling you as the “problem”. Maybe, you’re wondering where you fit into therapy. How does a single person in therapy correlate?
Sometimes, people come to therapy thinking ” I know I need to make a change”, but they find that it is easier to sit in the dysfunction than to change the pattern. Change is scary, especially when you’re worried about being lonely or are unsure about the future. I understand it’s a defense to avoid getting hurt again. It can be far easier to stay where you are than to move forward from the current relationship, a new one, or a “situationship”.
I am not here to tell you what to do, I am here to help you put your experiences in perspective and to help you make healthier choices. These should serve you, instead of hurting you. I am your guide, and I will not judge you. Ultimately, you’re the expert of your life.
There is not a one size fits all approach to working with singles in therapy. We are all different.
So, I offer many approaches to help you work through what is going on. We may use motivational interviewing. This helps people find the internal motivation to change behavior.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps people accept their feelings without feeling guilty about them. This also means accepting your thoughts for what they are. Or we could use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This method helps people recognize how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors affect each other. Then we can use this awareness to align them with goals to reduce stress and achieve goals.
In therapy, you should develop the ability to be more assertive about your needs and expectations. Become more understanding that love is a gamble and the only way to find it is to risk vulnerability. And, to trust your voice and your gut to begin to identify your self-worth instead of leaving that to someone in a relationship.
My goal for you is to feel like therapy is a helpful resource for you. You should leave feeling equipped to cope and manage relationships in a way that is healthy and sustainable. Mentally and emotionally, I want you to feel empowered and confident to make the best decisions for your own lives and feel happy about it.
I am ready to work with you when you’re ready to make the first appointment. In therapy, I want you to begin to develop the security to leave relationships that aren’t providing the future you say you want. To get back out into the dating world with a clear vision of what you want, instead of entertaining anything that doesn’t deliver that.
Additionally, I will help you have conversations that help you discover if the potential partners want the same thing in the same time frame. So why not begin therapy to find the confidence to voice your wants and needs in a relationship without fear, or consequence. And, to develop the ability to convey needs and wants to the other person in a way they understand and are receptive to them.
If you are ready to be in a space that promotes growth, healing, and clarity in your relationships, you have come to the right place. Counseling can help you recover from the previous hurt and help you establish what you want to get out of a relationship. In my Texas therapy practice, you will work with me, your therapist who specializes in working with singles.
To start your therapy journey, follow these simple steps:
Therapy for singles isn’t the only service I offer in my Texas therapy practice. Other mental health services Optimistic Counseling provides include depression treatment, career support, and anxiety treatment. All services are offered via online therapy in Texas. When you’re ready to take that leap, I am here to serve you!